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Divorced

At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.

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I got married on August 20, 2011. Five years later I got divorced. Today would have been our eighth wedding anniversary. I have finally gotten to the stage where I rarely ever think about my marriage. Every once in a while, I think about how my ex or his mother are doing. But something usually triggers those thoughts. Its usually certain foods or something I heard on a podcast. Lately I have been thinking more about my marriage. I don’t miss my ex. I know that I made the correct decision to get divorced. I miss how my life was when I was married. Companionship was obviously great but that isn’t necessarily what I miss either. I feel like friendships vanished overnight. And some did in a way. But those were friendships that were mostly connected to him. They weren’t MY friends. They were HIS. 

I’m 31 years old so most of my friends are now married with children or in committed relationships. I don’t have any single friends. After the divorce, I remember a relative asking me if I had any single friends. I didn’t comprehend at the time what that meant. I just told her no and immediately forgot. How do single people make friends? I was married and therefore seemed to be surrounded by others that were either married or in committed relationships. I never really noticed. And now I’m lonely all of the time. 

I miss having friends.